I miss my dog

I miss her so much that it's made me sick. The lack of sleep and nightmares and stress have turned into a cold that hit my lungs so hard. When I woke up Sunday, my nebulizer treatments were no longer working. I took a really, really hot shower and let the water slam my chest but it still didn't help. I went to ER where they hooked me up with some new breathing treatments and sent me home.

I still miss her. I still feel guilty. I'm still not coping well.

Zoe is still dripping blood on the floor.

It's been 4 days.

When does it get better?

It's very quiet now without Liberty. There's no jumping on the sliding glass door, no barking at the air, no barking during feeding time and no whining when the kids go to school. It's just what it is now. Quiet and still.

I'm hosting Thanksgiving but I'm too sick to really move far without having a coughing attack so Erik had to buy the turkey Sunday so we could start to defrost it. He was supposed to buy evaporated milk for the pumpkin dessert but bought condensed milk. Doesn't that sound like a typical man move?

For whatever reason, Erik's check wasn't deposited on Friday. It didn't come in the mail on Saturday and when he went to work today he called about it. Ooops, I guess they didn't get the checks in until today so they will Fed-Ex them tomorrow. How freakin' convenient. We had to charge the Liberty's "Euthanasia Special", Zoe's surgery, my ER visit and meds and the stupid turkey so we could have it defrosted in time. What an inconvenient time to just blow off paychecks. Don't know about you, but we live paycheck to paycheck.

The snake is hungry and sometime between now and Wednesday I have to get her a Jumbo Mouse. Maybe I'll get her two since it's Thanksgiving.

Here's a layout or two because what's a post on a scrapbooking blog without a couple of pages?

I promise I won't come back and post until I'm in a better mood.