Tuesday, April 18, 2017

The Show Must Go ON

So, here I am.
I'm old.
I'm not feeling well.
My kids don't need me as much as they used to.

I find myself frequently thinking about when they were little and how much fun we had.

Now they want nothing to do with me.

I'm sad and stuck in the past. My therapist says it's because I have only identified myself as a mother.

Ashley has her own family.

Trent can't wait until he's done with school and can move out.

Kat told me she's not having kids. EVER.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do when my kids go away.

I had a horrible time during my teen years. I hated myself and had even tried to commit suicide. My mother was always trying to get me to think of the future and a goal to work towards. Most of my thoughts and answers included me being happily married with children. At the time she asked, it was the 1970's so I may have also said something along the lines of "changing the wallpaper every 3 months".

Yeah, so what happens when the children get big and go away? I don't know what I want. What happens now?

Trent ignoring me


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