Dear God

Please forgive me for whatever I have done that has PISSED you off so badly. I love animals and I do not know why you continue to give me duds.

I've dealt with garbage strewn all over the house.
I've dealt with dogs throwing up their own poop on my carpet.
I've dealt with powdered sugar stuck to the tile floor and carpeting.
I've found avocados pits in my bed.
I've accepted the fact that I will have to vacuum my bed on muddy days.
I've dealt with poop, pee, vomit, etc in all places in my home.

But this? I have a 16 month old I'm trying to babysit today. Why???

Like a serial killer in the crowd of on-lookers at a murder scene, I'm assuming the guilty party had to come witness my horror as I walked in the door and grabbed my camera.

"You better wipe this shit up, bitch, or I'll scratch you"

Why does the cat hate me?I know it was her because Manny is in his crate and the other two dogs are outside. The other day, she also toppled over Twilight's cage. It was upside down on the floor.

Amen

"Science Project" is just another word for HELL

It's that time of year again. All over my neighborhood, people are pouring and measuring baking soda, vinegar, juices or boiling different liquids. They're making cookies 5 different times eliminating an ingredient each time to discover what that ingredient is used for.

School started this year in early August. By mid-August the other moms and I at the pick up point at school were already starting to dread Science Project Time. We knew it wasn't until February, six months away, but we still grumbled about it anyway.

Grumbles can be heard through out the crowd of moms and a few dads, "I HATE Science Project Time" or "The parents are the ones that end up having to do it anyway" or even "Do you think we could use his brother's project from last year?"

Halloween would come and some of us would bring it up again. "Do you know what you're doing for a Science Project?"

"No. I HATE Science Project Time!"

Christmas comes around and we're getting ready for the break. Of course, it's not really a break when you've got the worry of that damn science project hovering over your head. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? When do we start? Should we start now so it's less work? Do we wait until the boards are distributed?

Someone always says, "I HATE Science Project Time!!"

My idea for the science project was AWESOME!

My idea was to take two of the boy mice and separate them. Put a wheel in one cage and not in the other. Carefully measure their food for a week or two and see who eats more food. Does the mouse with the wheel eat more? Or does the mouse that is bored without a wheel eat more?

I thought it was a terrific idea and I was afraid to share it during kid pick up time at school. It was January and other parents were getting antsy, hovering around other groups of parents listening in for ideas. I even overheard some parents pretending to be interested in another kid's idea.

"So little Johnny, what are you doing for your science project?"

"My mom said not to talk to anyone about my science project"

Of course, Kat didn't want to do it. She wanted to clean pennies with juice. Like she's ever cleaned anything in her life, but anyway. I couldn't get her to change her mind. So, with new Tupperware that I got for Christmas, we lined up 5 little containers and tried 5 different juices.

She already knew the answer to the project because her friend's brother had done it last year. It's LEMON juice. Duh!

Erik worked with Kat on her juice and pennies. The Tupperware containers sat out on the table for about three weeks.

The boards didn't get out on time. First we were told that UPS was late. I did see UPS driving up to the school as the girls and I were leaving that Friday. I saw my neighbor run back into the office and moments later he came out with giant boards that we was trying to hide under his jacket.

Fine. We'll just get ours Monday.

Monday comes and it's raining. You can't get the boards when it's raining because it will ruin the cardboard.

I HATE Science Project Time!

Finally on Tuesday we got the boards. They were due in exactly six days. We could do this. No problem!

I was pretty impressed with Kat that she did the Power Point all by herself. I helped her add some clip art and I printed the pages. Until we ran out of ink. UGH! Panic.

$45.00 and 45 minutes later, we finally have the ink and we're printing again.

She uses the Cricut to cut her title. 

We decide to glue on the pennies and use Martha Stewart labels to add what kind of juice we used. I printed off some pictures and she glued them on.

6:00 PM Sunday night we're done! WE ARE DONE!

Monday, the day it's due, Kat is sick. I look at the giant piece of cardboard sitting next to the door and I decide to take it to school. I'm so sick of looking at it and I just know it's going to be a matter of time before either a dog pees on it, the cat throws up on it or someone just spills something on it.

Now we're all done and we can relax. At least until next August when school starts again and the parents and I start grumbling about it.

I HATE Science Project Time!

It's a page on Manny

Here he is, the little cutie pie stinker dog. It took me forever to commit and glue this page together. But my friend, Sharon, said, "Glue and Go Baby"! So, that's what I did.

This is the first page I've done on him. As we (well, actually I) were digging through Petfinder, his cute little smile caught our attention. He's such a happy little guy.

See the wood veneer dog on the red heart? That's some of the new Studio Calico wood veneers I was squealing about last week.

Papers, camera, arrow and misting mask are new Studio Calico, chip alphas are American Crafts, tiny alphas are Lily Bee and mists are Heidi Swapp.

We were crazy in the 70's

Good Morning and Happy Valentine's Day!

Yesterday I was helping Kat sign her Valentine's Day cards when I noticed how teeny tiny they were. They're only about 2x3 inches. There are no envelopes and you don't even get to fold them over and secure them shut with a sticker.

I asked, "Wanna see what Valentine's Day cards were like when I was your age"?

All of them (the girls I babysit after school were here, too) said, "YEAH!"

I must have been born a scrapbooker because I saved my Valentine's Day cards from when I was in third or fourth grade. They are tucked away in one of my childhood diaries. Yeah, I kept a diary and you'll never see it. It mostly says stuff like, "I hate Mom", or "I love Jeff". I was very emotional, I guess, as a 10 year old.

I pulled the cards out for the girls and showed them how large and colorful they used to be. You know, things are always better in the good ol' days.

The girls (and Trent) were bored after about 30 seconds but I kept digging through them.

My good friend, Deanna Larsen, gave me this one. Her name is on the back so if she doesn't believe me I can scan it and show her. I wonder if she knew at the time how politically incorrect she was?

Yeah, I know, huh!! We could never get away with something like this now.

Remember Ziggy? I had forgotten all about that bald little loser until I found this:

Here are a couple others I found. They're not inappropriate or anything, like Deanna's, but they do scream 1970-something.

These were decent sized, too.  Not a teeny 2x3 inch picture that you need a magnifying glass to read.  I don't think we had candy on them, either. You got a Valentine's in an envelope and maybe the rich kids gave you candy OR a t-shirt iron-on.

There were no temporary tattoos. In my stack of cards, I found an iron-on Valentine.

I was so lucky and didn't even realize it.

Crafty time

I was at the new Joann's today. Thank goodness northwest Tucson has nice, new and CLEAN location to visit. The old one was gross and I always felt like I needed a shower after visiting.

Anyway, I came across some Spellbinder gear dies. I've never seen them before and even though I've had issues with Spellbinder dies not working well in my Cuttlebug, I still wanted needed them.

So, I bought them and took them home and actually used them. As I was looking at them, I realized that I could Steam Punk about anything now.

So, that's what I did.

I can't tell if Sookie likes being Steam Punked or not.

and then I moved on to Trent's new Lego set.

If you're not going to pick your toys, you'll just have to deal with me Steam Punking them.

and last but not least, I gave Spots a chance to hit the town in her new Steam Punk outfit:

sorry, it's not a great picture. She didn't really like it very much anyway.

All this fun, from this one little package.

On sale at Joann's for $14.99. Go buy them and Steam Punk something. Then link me up so I can see it.

The family game I won't be playing

What kind of evil & cruel game is this?

In my half alive state yesterday (I had a stomach bug) I kind of remember Katrina showing me this. I was impressed with her corner notches and thought maybe it was a punch I had but forgotten about.

Looks like I'm going to be the party pooper on this one. I'm not playing. It's funny that Erik is, but he probably didn't realize that I would be taking a picture of it and putting it on the world wide web.

Gem and Mineral show

Every year, Tucson has a giant Gem and Mineral show.  Giant white tents take over the city and hotel rooms are filled with temporary shops.

We haven't been in several years and since we were due some Family Fun Time, I suggested we go.

Katrina looks really guilty in this picture, doesn't she? It looks like she's stealing something but I found out later that she had a stash of animal crackers in her pocket.

Inside the tents are PILES and PILES of sparkling gems, cheap jewelry and expensive jewelry. There are knives, supplies to make jewelry and lots of lots of people.

You just start digging and pull strands of what you want. The price ranges start at $.25 a strand and go up. I didn't go over $2.00 a strand except for the strand of giant skull beads I bought that were $6.00.

 

One thing I love to do is run my hands over the stones. They're so cold and smooth. It reminds me of the scene in Amelie where she states one of her favorite things is to stick her hand in a sack of grains:

 

and btw, if you haven't seen this movie, you should. I also agree with the cracking of the creme brulee top.

But back on track...

I asked Trent to stick his hand in this giant pile of bracelets and see if he could get to the bottom. Once he saw I was taking pictures, he got shy and wouldn't do it.

 

 

Outside is where they have the "real stuff". The giant pieces of fossils, the giant agates, meteorites or tons of petrified wood. I wish I could have found dinosaur poop. I'm still disappointed by that. I'm sure there is some elsewhere in the city but we walked around for a couple hours and I was tired.

Here is my stash. I think I spent about $40.00 on everything. I was obviously into the skulls this year as there are at least 4 strands. Erik must have had Valentine's on the brain because he kept pointing out heart shaped items. I don't want hearts...skulls, please.

Do you see the orange strand? That one is my favorite find of the day. It's a strand of amber chips I found for $2.00. I LOVE amber, especially when there's a dead bug or something in it. I started out buying things for scrapbooking but was soon distracted by all the other stones and such.

I even found this cool treasure box to hold my skulls in. Well, actually Kat put my skull beads in there. I wanted to put the skulls in a little bowl and offer them to people when they came over.

"Would you like to have a piece of candy?" and then I'd shove the bowl of skulls their way.

OMGosh! Is that a Wood Veneer Pig?!?

I squealed when I asked this question.

I went to Blue Moon Scrapbooking today. I was down on the floor digging through boxes of Studio Calico when I saw a small but chubby wooden pig looking at me.

I reached over for the package, almost falling over to the floor, when someone said, "There are also little puppies and kitties, too!

That's when I really squealed.

I've never heard that sound come from my mouth before and I may have scared some of the employees. I know the other shopper there looked at me funny.

I just looked at her, pointed to the package and said, "wood pigs. wood pigs. oh, and chickens!"

She smiled and walked away.

That was ok because that meant THEY WERE MINE!

I didn't even know that Studio Calico was coming out with these tiny creatures.

In the farm animal package, there are cows, horses, chickens, roosters, pigs, goats and probably more.

The cats look to be all of the same breed but they're just different sizes and in different positions.

The dogs are my favorites! There are fancy poodles, dachshunds, bazenji, maybe a chihuahua and other shapes I'm not quite familiar with.

Blue Moon isn't really a store. It's mostly a warehouse and they do on-line orders. They let us locals come in and dig through the boxes. I LOVE THAT!! I feel so at home just sitting on the floor with the girls going through boxes. It's like a treasure hunt. There are no prices on anything but I kinda know what they are as I've been shopping supplies for 10 years now.

It's my new favorite place to hang out. There's a house for sale right across the street from them. I'm thinking I should buy it and that way I can go over there every day.

Remember This Day

A scrapbook page two days in a row? Amazing! I better slow down before I hurt myself.

This is mostly My Minds Eye, Remarkable 


I really liked this new collection and bought most of it. I also used my new Tim Holtz Sizzix die for the banner and his new stamps.

I spent the longest time looking for an "I love my Uncle" shirt or "My Uncle is Cool" for Blake to wear. I found plenty of "I love my Aunt" shirts.

I decided one day to hit Penny's and found this shirt that said, "Trenton racing". I thought Trent would like that as much as an "I love my Uncle" so I bought it.

Eventually, I did find an "My Uncle is Rad" onesie but not of course until after I had purchased the "Trenton" shirt.

Rodeo Days

Ahhh, I finished a layout. It doesn't happen often anymore.

I used Fancy Pants The Good Life and October Afternoon Sasparilla. There's also a little BasicGrey in there.

Thanks for looking. :) and P.S. It's not as crooked in real life.

Not for the squeamish

I've never taken a picture of Spots eating a mouse until today. However, I've always watched. Well, most if it I watch. I don't like the strike and the small struggle of the mouse as the snake wraps herself tighter and tighter around her prey.

I don't watch that part.

I find the actual consumption of the mouse fascinating. It's like the National Geographic channel is live right in my own home.

I think it's amazing how Spots can open her jaw to consume something so much larger than her whole face. The process takes several minutes and this whole time somewhere she's breathing. I think. She always takes the head first and then slurps up the tail like spaghetti.

Like I said before, it's fascinating.

The mice are retired breeders so I like to assume they've had a nice full life. I hope they've known love and warmth from their babies and I hope when they get to Heaven they say "Hi" to Liberty and then frolic around the sweet smelling grass with Snowflake, Sunshine, Dessert, Google and all the other mousies that have passed on that I knew.

I don't like this part of the snake but it has to be done. Luckily, it's only once every two weeks.

When Spots retires to baby rats is when I'm going to have a hard time. I'm hoping she can just eat jumbo mice for a very, very long time.

I am a freakin' genius!

If I have to listen to you drag that thing around the house all day long, you might as well clean the floor while you're at it.

I taped a Swiffer cloth to the bottom of Blake's lawnmower.

He was cleaning and didn't even notice.

Go Grandma!

Chihuahuas are for dressing up

I love having a small dog that I can dress up.

Here are Manny and Bob.

 I know, Manny's outfit has a ruffle on the back. Bob has a little cherry eye issue going on, too.

Manny doesn't mind the ruffle because the shirt has skulls and guitars on it. Besides, he can't see it and there wasn't a boy style on clearance. Maybe if I'm feeling crafty later, I'll remove the ruffle and sew a little hem on it.

 

Actually, maybe I should take care of that right now because Bob seems to be confused.

 

Boxer the Hutt

As promised from yesterday's post, here are pictures of my friend's cat. He has two full back legs and only stumps for front legs.

We've been talking about doing this sort of photo of him, so I do have permission from his owner. I even asked her before she left. This is a well loved cat so I don't want to hear any crap about how mean I am.

Besides, I called my dad first to be sure it passed his test. If he thought I was being mean, I certainly wouldn't post it. Of course, he's the one that drew the chalk outline around the dead rat and broken pottery and then posted it on Facebook. (I'm looking for this photo) Maybe he isn't the best one to give me advice on what is a faux pas and what isn't.

But anyway, let me introduce you to Boxer the Hutt:

It wasn't until later that I realized I didn't have R2D2 or C3PO in the picture. I wanted to re-take the picture with the two in there, but Katrina was feeling, "uncomfortable".

While Kat and I were digging for my old Star Wars figures, we both had another brilliant idea.

Army Men!!

Boxer the Hutt took the army men down immediately. They didn't have a chance.

Neither did my vintage Fisher Price Little People:

He rolled over them and I had to dig them out from under his belly.

Afterwards, he got lots of loving and some cheese I found in their refrigerator.

Boxer is pretty old now. He has a brother that was adopted at the same time. I didn't get to see him today but he is missing one of his legs as well. My favorite story about Boxer was when he was a kitten. He was very agile and had no problem jumping up on the kitchen counter (which of course wasn't allowed but you and I both know that cats do whatever the hell they want). It was only when he wanted off the counter that the problem arose. As a cat, how do you jump off the counter if you only have two back legs? You can't. Boxer would always land on his face. Of course, it never stopped him and he'd do it frequently.

I'm looking for that rat picture. When I find it, I'll post it.

You're not actually pooping again, are you?

or, my first 15 minutes alone with six dogs.

A couple of my friends left for Disneyland today. I'm watching their dogs, cats, fish and mice. Their dogs are here.

Bob and Colby came over first. Then Shelby.

Then they started their mutiny.

I wanted to get them all to sit down so I could take a picture. Don't laugh. It's been done before but not with these dogs.

None of the dogs sat when I told them to. Not even my dogs. It's like they knew it was six against one and they were going to have absolutely nothing to do with what I said anymore.

Nothing.

I was outside and soon found myself saying:

Get off the table!

What are you eating?

Put that down!

That is an outside toy, not an inside toy!

Pooping again?!

Get over here!

Leave him alone!

Leave her alone!

Come over here and sit!! SIT!!

I'm not throwing your ball!!

Holy cow! Are you actually pooping AGAIN?!


Every time someone pooped or peed, all the other dogs had to pee over it.

I'm sure all that peeing would make any dog very dehydrated.

I was sitting on the far bench as far away as I could from the giant steaming pile of freshly deposited dog poop when I noticed Manny drinking out of the Christmas Tree stand. I now call this, "The Water Bowl of Unnecessary Torture and the Potential for Blindness"

*sigh* This is how my husband takes care of things, I guess. I won't tell you where the Christmas tree is. Ok, I will. It's sitting in the middle of the backyard. The dogs pee on it every day and the kids move it back and forth across the yard like it's a toy.

This is Bob. It poured today!! It was like a monsoon rain. The first thing Bob did when I let him outside was walk all the way through the giant puddle in the backyard. As he'd walk, he'd shake the water off his extra foot. He was acting like it was torture but it was his choice. Later I'd find him with the Saw Cup stuck on his face. He was happy to see me and stopped moving so I could take it off.

Here's a picture of all six of them. It took me awhile to get. As you can see, NONE of them are sitting. Shelby is off in the background, probably going to poop again.

Oh, and I'm really excited to go check on the cats. My friend has a cat with only two legs. He only has his back legs and he's really quite chubby because in his old age he can't move around a whole lot. She said I could put my Star Wars figurines around him and take pictures like he's Jabba the Hutt.

So, look for those pictures in the next couple of days.

Oh, man. Before I could even finish reading this, I caught Bob eating a purple crayon. I need to be more careful. I was warned that Bob would eat just about anything. He ate staples once. Luckily, they passed easily.

Dammit! Now Manny is finishing off the crayon.

Man, there's a lot of crap in this post.

Captain Adorable and his first mates

It's a layout! Heck yeah!! This is supposed to be a scrapbooking blog.

 

That's all American Crafts Ready, Set, Go. The tab punch is Jenni Bowlin and because it's my goal to use something really old on my pages (to help get rid of this growing stash), I've added an epoxy sticker from Christina Cole. Now that is REALLY OLD!

Oh, I also discovered the Dymo Caption Maker for the script font on the piece of Dymo.

The Yo-Yo Man

Do you know who the Yo-Yo man is?

I do because I heard all about it this morning on the way to Kat's ortho appointment and then all the way back home and into the school's front office.

"I love you. Have a good day. Make good decisions and you're not to spend your money on a yo-yo", was the last thing I said to Kat this morning.

Every once in awhile, the school brings in the Yo-Yo man during PE and tries to sell really expensive yo-yos  to small, naive children. I went through this same scenario with Trent during his first few years at elementary school. I gave in and bought him a yo-yo. He was bored and frustrated with it in less than two days. I guess the school hasn't had Yo-Yo man around the last couple of years because I haven't heard about him again until today.

I've never actually seen the Yo-Yo man but I can't help but picture him as a really nice, personable  young man wearing a baseball cap and polo shirt. He stands atop a stage while behind him are boxes of brightly colored yo-yos stacked like Coke boxes at Walmart. Two bright spotlights shine down on Yo-Yo man and small children sit on the floor cross-legged, wide eyed with their mouths agape as he "Walks the Dog".  He does all the tricks with grace and ease and the children exclaim, "oooooohhh!" or "ahhhhhhh" or even "woooooow".


He's quite the salesman.

Kat: Mom, can I have a yo-yo? They're only $15.00.

Me: No. I don't think so.

Kat: I have my own money. How about one for $10.00?

Me: That's kind of a lot of  money for a yo-yo. What do they do with the money? Does it get donated or something?

Kat: Yeah, it's donated to some group.

Me: Who is it donated to? Rebel militia groups in Africa?

Kat: Ummm, no. It's donated to kids. MOM! WATCH OUT FOR THAT SCHOOL BUS!! hahahaha

Me: Thank you, Kat. I see the school bus. What children get the money? Homeless children? Children in America?

Kat: (trying another route)Do you know what a boomerang yo-yo is?

Me: Of course I do. It's a yo-yo on the floor that I step on too many times because you've become bored and frustrated with the yo-yo and now it's broken because I've stepped on it. I have to pick it up and throw it away. The next day it shows up on the floor in a different part of the house and I step on it again. That's a boomerang yo-yo.

Kat: No, Mom. (trying another route) You can buy replacement parts for the yo-yo.

Me: Oh, really? And just how much would that cost? Are they made in the USA or China?

Kat: USA. I really want a yo-yo. (still trying another route) It comes with a really good message. NED...(N)ever give up....(E)ncourage others....(D)o your best.

Me: You said nothing of a yo-yo last week. Last week it was Kidz Bop 23. Now it's a yo-yo. Maybe you should sleep on it or show me some paperwork about it.

Kat: (this time with sadness in her voice) Mackayla is going to get a yo-yo and brag about it.

Me: Great! Make sure you congratulate Mackayla on her purchase and encourage her to keep learning new tricks. Just like the NED message. That is a really good message.

This was only a couple minutes of our conversation. Believe me, it went on for what seemed like forever.

Just for shits and giggles, I looked up the NED yo-yos on line. There is nothing that I could find about donating money to anyone or any organization. So, I'm sure that was just a line Kat used to try to encourage me (just like she was taught in the NED yo-yo show) to let her purchase one.

After looking at the site for just a few more minutes, I can't really figure out exactly what they do. I did pull out this quote:

The NED Show motivates…encourages…INSPIRES your kids to become Champions at school and in life.

Ok, that's nice. I still don't get why yo-yos? Expensive yo-yos. Oh, there's a section on that. It says,

We incorporate yo-yos in our show, along with magic tricks and dramatic speech, to deliver a VISUAL lesson that sticks with students. It’s unique, it’s unusual and best of all, it's absolutely unforgettable. After the assembly, we offer items for purchase that prominently feature the NED Champion message, so that students have their own learning tools to reinforce the program. The message of our assembly literally becomes a hands-on object lesson that exceeds a 45-minute show.

Nope. Not buying it. If someone knows something more about this program, I'd love to know. I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. Usually. To me, this seems like a circus side show selling miracle drugs. After the circus leaves, it's forgotten about and stepped on and thrown away.

"Get your yo-yos here! This one cures syphilis!!  This blue one cures herpes!! But for only $15.00, this one will make you POPULAR and COOL!!!!"


I have an acronym, too....

STTSMKOYY

Stop Trying To Sell My Kids Overpriced Yo-Yos

DISCLAIMER: Kat has had plenty of yo-yos in her life so I'm not the mean mom that won't let her get a stupid yo-yo. In fact, there is one on the shelf behind her bed. As soon as I pick her from school, I'm going to Do my best to Encourage her to play with her existing yo-yo and Never give up practicing.

and because I always say that pictures are important, here is an image of Abe Lincoln that the kids made with coins. This is from 2008 but better late than never.

School buses, construction zones and Lost

Back in December, while Erik was driving the Mini, he was hit by a school bus.

A school bus that didn't stop.

It was cold, dark and raining that morning. We have State Farm and when Erik called, an agent didn't magically show up like they do on the commercials (which I totally complained about to my agent later). Instead, he was transferred back and forth from one agent to another while standing under the shelter of a Circle K and it was basically just a disaster that I don't even want to talk about.

But anyway, 5 weeks later (yesterday), we're told the Mini is ready.

So we race down to the body shop to pick it up before they close.

Now, Erik wasn't injured in the accident. Thank goodness! But there was an impression left on my son.

Apparently, as Erik and Trent were driving home from the body shop in the Mini, a school bus pulled up to a stop sign as they were cruising along the road.

Trent, being the smart ass that he is, screamed, "DAD! WATCH OUT FOR THE SCHOOL BUS!"

I would have freaked out had he done that crap to me. I already have an anxiety issue. This is not something you want to do to someone like me.

Later as the story was being told to me while I was driving back from the rental car place, I tried to tell him this. Instead of listening, he screamed, "MOM! WATCH OUT FOR THE GIANT YELLOW VEHICLE!"

and I looked and there was a giant yellow truck passing me. He's lucky I didn't swerve but I now have new confidence in my driving ability, especially under stress.

While I was driving home from the body shop, I had Katrina with me. In Tucson, there is no way to avoid road construction. No way.

As we're driving along at 15 mph, she says completely out of the blue:

"Mom, do you remember how you cried at the end of Lost?"

Me: "Yeah. Why do you bring this up?"

Kat: "Well, there was that pipe back there."

It was a giant construction pipe for water. I think it stands about twenty feet high. I'm thinking to myself, "oh this is gonna be good".

Me: "Ok, what does that pipe have to do with my ugly cry at the end of Lost?"

Kat: "Well", she started, "The pipe was leaking morsels of water,"

Me: "Do you mean 'drops'? 'Drops' of water were leaking'?"

Kat: "NO! Morsels. I don't care if it means something about food. Morsels!".

Me: "Ok, go on."

Kat: "Well, the drops, I mean morsels of water reminds me of the ocean. The ocean reminds me of Lost. Lost reminds me of the last episode of Lost and the last episode of Lost reminds me of you crying. Get it?"

Oh yeah, I got it. My brain works the exact same way. I can start out thinking about scrapbooking and change to porn in about 5 seconds flat.

But right now I'm thinking of a headache because Katrina used the word "morsels". You know, Nestle Chocolate Chip morsels. Chocolate Chip morsels remind me of chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies remind me of sugar. Sugar reminds me of the headache I would get if I ate too many chocolate chip cookies but wouldn't care. I just want a cookie really badly right now.

and because I have always claimed that pictures are important, I've added a picture of Katrina from Christmas Eve while I was trying to do custom bokah. See, the lights are little hearts?? Too bad I couldn't remember to use a tripod.

BasicGrey goes PORN

this was supposed to be a post about the overwhelming cheese selection at Costco but instead I bring you breaking news:

BasicGrey is now selling porn!!!.

(can't that font get any bigger???)

Don't believe me, check it out for yourself:

This is from a section of the True Love collection. The paper is called "Kissing Tree". It should really be called, "Porn Tree".

Do you see it? He has his hand on her breast. I can't tell for sure if her breast is naked, but look at the dog.

The dog looking away is a sure sign that it is pornographic. Right? Right?

and I won't even mention how relaxed her knees are.

or the fact that the donkey is looking the other way, too.

Scrapbooking, card makers and paper friends....I am so excited!! Now we can craft, get high off the paper, ink and glue fumes and get turned on all at the same time!! What a time saver!

BasicGrey, you can thank me later when this line sells out in record time.

now back to the cheese....my mom and I were having this first world problem because we couldn't decide what kind of cheese to buy at Costco. I took a few pictures but now I can't figure out how to download them off my phone so you, dear reader, get porn instead. Lucky you!

Erik just now walked in....

Erik: Hi Sweetie!

me: GUESS WHAT! BASIC GREY IS SELLING PORN! (I point to the computer)

Erik: I bet you're excited about that, huh?

me: Yep, you got the right.

Manny the dog walks out of the room.

note to self: don't forget to add "BasicGrey" to the Labels.
 

This hasn't happened in awhile

I came home to this after I had been out of the house for a few hours.

When Zoe had her surgery in November, we took her shock collar off and I guess we forgot to put it back on. She's had months to hit the garbage and the pantry that's full of sugar and why she decided today was the day she was going to eat garbage I'll never know. I found the same mess in my bedroom but figured one picture of garbage was good enough.

Looks like the collar is going back on today.

The problem is that now Manny thinks garbage is really cool. He's learning tricks from the other animals.

At first I was thinking to myself, "Oh, it's so nice to have a dog that can't reach the counter".

He watches the cat get on the counter, which is a big no-no and she gets sprayed with water when I catch her, but now I'm catching Manny on the counter. He sees the cat jump on the chair and then on the counter.

I had my suspicions last week when I had half an orange in a Rubbermaid container (with no lid) on the counter. I left to pick up the kids and when we came back, there was no orange. I thought maybe one of the kids had taken it but they all denied it.

It wasn't until the next day when we invited my neighbor over for pizza that I discovered what was really going on.

I came home, put the pizzas on the counter, turned on the oven and went to the bathroom. When I came back, there was Manny ON THE FREAKIN' COUNTER chewing on my vegi pizza. Why he didn't go for the pepperoni one, I'll never know. We get the pizzas from Papa Murphy's where you have to bake them at home. He had chewed through the plastic and was gnawing on the raw dough and really not getting very far because if you've ever tried to eat raw pizza dough, it's not very easy.  I've never eaten raw pizza dough but I can just tell because it's all soft and rubbery and just looks like it would be hard to eat.

Manny has also been crapping in his bed which I think is a direct result from hanging out with the mice for too long. They crap in their bedding so why can't he?

He's still so cute as a little bug and I love him so much. I just have to get my dog trainer in her ASAP.

I won't tell you how he bit my mother. He HATES her with a passion and I have no idea why.